‘Seven Pounds’ must be a British-backed film

Cuz that’s about what the script is worth.

No, but seriously, the movie sends a clear message: Don’t check your email while driving.

It’s 2009 already…

…So where’s MY bailout?

Spoiler Alert: ‘Valkyrie’

The assassination attempt on Hitler fails.

I’m not interested in deja vu…

…been there, done that.

In these troubled times…

…I accept only cheeseburgers as currency.

Abductive Reasoning

I was abducted by aliens last night. I left home, and suddenly it’s morning. They call it “missing time.” Also missing: a fifth of scotch.

Seriously, Dudes…

You know what TOTALLY ROCKS?! An unstable structure resting on slats with a broad surface area at right angles to a moderately strong wind.

It Is Better to Have Loved and Lost.

The Internet kinda killed the fantasy of reuniting with an old flame or old pal. Turns out there usually was a reason you “lost touch”.

Boy in a Bubble

When I’m wandering slowly and aimlessly down a crowded street while talking on my cellphone, no harm can befall me.

Strange Mirror

I looked in the mirror and saw the back of my own head! WTF?! Then I realized I was standing right behind some guy at the urinal, and I quickly moved over to the sinks. Sorry, dude!