Archive for April, 2006
Why UFOs Never Show Up on Telescopes
April 7, 2006Noses
April 6, 2006
Metal cylinder burn through world. Fiery screams. Awe. Terror. Much death.
Silence.
The hot thing stand on The Under. Then. Open. Emerging, moving.
New sounds: “. . . and remove your helmets. . . Wow, this is fantastic; get a few lungfuls of this atmosphere. . . Better than Earth’s. . . I could breathe this all day. . .”
Families. Friends. Mutilated. Gone.
Noses
April 6, 2006Metal cylinder burn through world. Fiery screams. Awe. Terror. Much death.
Silence.
The hot thing stand on The Under. Then. Open. Emerging, moving.
New sounds: “. . . and remove your helmets. . . Wow, this is fantastic; get a few lungfuls of this atmosphere. . . Better than Earth’s. . . I could breathe this all day. . .”
Families. Friends. Mutilated. Gone.
A Communique from The Alien Commission
April 5, 2006The link below provides a progress report on the invasion situation assembled by the Alien Commission (also known as “McCann.org”). Future updates will be publicly transmitted the same way, but encoded and transmitted via broadcast and cable television. Readers should remain on high alert, as always, for these hidden messages. We hope you are inspired by its vision and determination.
A Communique from The Alien Commission
April 5, 2006The link below provides a progress report on the invasion situation assembled by the Alien Commission (also known as “McCann.org”). Future updates will be publicly transmitted the same way, but encoded and transmitted via broadcast and cable television. Readers should remain on high alert, as always, for these hidden messages. We hope you are inspired by its vision and determination.
The Meaning of Lost Socks
April 5, 2006Abstract:
From the Proceedings of the 49th Convention of the American Datatician Society Meeting, Akron Hilton, Akron, Ohio. November 1994. Presenter: Biedermeier X. Leeuwenhoek.
Excerpt from author’s remarks, Professor Bingham S. Tewksbury:
“We of the ADS are pleased to announce that the mystery of where lost socks go has been quantitatively pinpointed subsequent to a lengthy and rigorous double-blind study…. We believe that the results, shown in the accompanying [table], contain no surprises, and in fact conform quite closely to what is called ‘common sense.’”
The Meaning of Lost Socks
April 5, 2006Abstract:
From the Proceedings of the 49th Convention of the American Datatician Society Meeting, Akron Hilton, Akron, Ohio. November 1994. Presenter: Biedermeier X. Leeuwenhoek.
Excerpt from author’s remarks, Professor Bingham S. Tewksbury:
“We of the ADS are pleased to announce that the mystery of where lost socks go has been quantitatively pinpointed subsequent to a lengthy and rigorous double-blind study…. We believe that the results, shown in the accompanying [table], contain no surprises, and in fact conform quite closely to what is called ‘common sense.’”
Konen in Recovery
April 4, 2006
The plump, balding psychoanalyst shifted in his chocolate-brown Naugahyde Execu-Chair. He looked down briefly, then up, his expression a mask. The air-conditioner hummed softly as he spoke to the large, battle-scarred warrior sitting on the client side of the white Formica desk.
Konen in Recovery
April 4, 2006 The plump, balding psychoanalyst shifted in his chocolate-brown Naugahyde Execu-Chair. He looked down briefly, then up, his expression a mask. The air-conditioner hummed softly as he spoke to the large, battle-scarred warrior sitting on the client side of the white Formica desk.
Why UFOs Never Show Up on Telescopes
April 7, 2006Many readers have asked us why UFOs are seen everywhere but through telescopes. You’d think that telescopes, which point at the heavens as a full-time job, would be spotting flying saucers every other Thursday, at a minimum. Well, it turns out there is a very simple answer.
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